TWA cats anes on a cheese did light,
To which baith had an equal right.
But disputes, sic as aft arise,
Fell out a sharing of the prize.
"Fair play," said ane, "ye bite o'er thick,
Thae teeth of yours gang wonder quick.
Let's part it, else lang or the moon
Be chang'd, the kebuck will be done."
But wha's to do't? They're parties baith,
And ane may do the other skaith.
Sae with consent away they trudge,
And laid the cheese before a judge,
A monkey with a campsho face,
Clerk to a justice of the peace.
A judge he seem'd in justice skill'd
When he his master's chair fill'd.
Now umpire chosen for division,
Baith sware to stand by his decision.
Demure he looks. The cheese he pales.
He prives it good. Ca's for the scales.
His knife whops throw't, in twa it fell.
He puts ilk haff in either shell.
Said he, "We'll truly weigh the case,
And strictest justice shall have place."
Then, lifting up the scales, he fand
The tane bang up, the other stand.
Syne out he took the heaviest haff,
And ate a knoost o't quickly aff,
And try'd it syne. It now prov'd light.
"Friend cats," said he, "we'll do ye right."
Then to the ither haff he fell,
And laid till't toughly, tooth and nail,
Till weigh'd again it lightest prov'd.
The judge, wha this sweet process lov'd,
Still weigh'd the case, and still ate on,
'Till clients baith were weary grown
And, tenting how the matter went,
Cry'd, "Come, come, sir, we're baith content."
"Ye fools," quoth he, "and justice too
Maun be content as well as you."
Thus grumbled they, thus he went on,
Till baith the haves were near hand done.
Pour pousies now the daffine saw
Of gawn for nignyes to the law,
And bill'd the judge that he wad please
To give them the remaining cheese.
To which His Worship grave reply'd,
"The dues of court maun first be paid
Now justice pleas'd. What's to the fore
Will but right scrimply clear your score.
That's our decreet. Gae hame and sleep,
And thank us ye're win aff sae cheap."
Twa cats yince on a cheese did licht,
Tae whilk baith haed an aqual richt.
But disputes, sic as aft arise,
Fell oot a skarin o the prize.
"Fair play," sayd ane, "ye bite ower thick,
Thae teeth o yours gang wunner quick.
Let's pairt it, else lang or the muin
Be changed, the kebuck wull be duin."
But wha's ti dae't? Thay're pairties baith,
An ane may dae the ither skaith.
Sae wi consent awa thay truidge,
An laid the cheese afore a juidge,
A monky wi a campsho face,
Clark til a juistice o the pace.
A juidge he seemed in juistice skeeled
Whan he his maister's cheyer filled.
Noo umpire chosen for diveesion,
Baith sware ti stan bi his deceesion.
Demuir he leuks. The cheese he pales.
He prives it guid. Caws for the scales.
His knife whips thraw't, in twa it fell.
He pits ilk haff in aither shell.
Sayd he, "We'll truly wee the case,
An strickest juistice sall have place."
Then, liftin up the scales, he fand
The tane bang up, the ither stand.
Syne oot he teuk the hiviest haff,
An ett a knoost o't quickly aff,
An tried it syne. It noo pruived licht.
"Freen cats," sayd he, "we'll dae ye richt."
Than til the ither haff he fell,
An laid till't teuchlie, tuith an nail,
Till wee'ed again it lichtest preuved.
The juidge, wha this sweet process leuved,
Still wee'ed the case, an still ett on,
Till clients baith war weary growen
An, tentin hoo the maiter went,
Cried, "Come, come, sir, we're baith content."
"Ye fuils," quoth he, "an juistice tae
Man be content as weel as ye."
Thus grummled thay, thus he went on,
Till baith the haufs war near hand done.
Puir poosies noo the daffeen saw
O gawn for nignays til the law,
An billed the juidge that he wad please
Ti gie thaim the remainin cheese.
Tae whilk His Worship grave replied,
"The dues o coort man first be peyed
Noo juistice pleased. What's til the fore
Wull but richt scrimply clear yer score.
That's oor decreet. Gae hame an sleep,
An thank us ye're win aff sae cheap."